“Top Shelf” Todd Wins WOBLS Beauty Competition in Upset!

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History was made today in the World Of Big League Sports Beauty competition when an unheard of upset dashed the hopes of up and coming tennis star Mindy Crawdad and devastated reigning competition champion Naomi Footwell. The bizarre turn of events caused multiple contestants to receive a rating of “Goose eggs” for what would have otherwise been rated a world class performance at any other event.

The situation unfolded when  WOBLS hockey star “Top Shelf” Todd Greene was (unfortunately for the actual contestants) seated directly across from the judges and proved to be such a distraction the judges kept rating him in jest, before scoring the WOBLS contestants on stage. 

Contestants are rated out of 10 by four judges and their total score cards added up to a total under 40. Would be winner CoCo Rokka scored an incredible 39.9 and thought that victory was all but guaranteed until the final moments of the competition. 

What started as a bit of fun from the judges upended the entire contest

Nobody realized until the final tally had come in that the computer had assigned multiple sets of score cards to Top-Shelf since all WOBLS athletes are eligible to participate. By the time the error had been discovered it was too late to change any of the assigned scores in the official WOBLS rankings. 


Top-Shelf was continually rated all afternoon, with his total score adding up to a whopping 259! The rules allow any WOBLS athlete to participate in any event and in a shocking upset upheld by the WOBLS top brass – “Top-Shelf” Todd Greene was declared the winner!

He’s since been observed at the Boogeymen’s practices and games refusing to wear a helmet, and preening with a mirror – Which has only seemed to heightened his awareness and made him almost untouchable on the ice – boosting his speed and athleticism to all new heights for the gold-star athlete.  

Todd's defaced card
Many of the distraught pageant contestants have since been observed drawing moles and mustaches on official portraits and playing cards of Top Shelf Todd. 


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