Local ‘Nobody’ makes it to World Of Big League Sports, with nothing but the “Pylon” in his name to push him through!

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2 mins read

It was a strange day for World Of Big League Sports yesterday, wherein a player was selected into a team without any prior trials. Pakenham’s Coach was said to have been stuffed with the finest Pork Pies by an “unknown, but extremely friendly Granny” before he made this unprecedented decision. Coach’s undying fascination for Pork Pies isn’t exactly a secret and someone seems to have taken full advantage of it.

 

Needless to say, Pakenham fans are not very happy about this decision. “What the pork is this?” said one furious fan, Lucy, who religiously attends each home ground match of the Pakenham city’s A-team. 

 

On the other hand, the newly selected Pakenham forward, Petey Pylon, is beaming with confidence. He aims to make a grandiose display of his skills to both his team’s fans and the entire league, to “revel in” his “Piely glory” once he wins the league for his team. 

 

Unfortunately, those who have actually seen him play would beg to differ. According to various reports, Petey Pylon has a proclivity for stopping mid-game, “to catch his breath”, and “taking pie breaks” to the protest of his fellow teammates.

 

Some would say that Petey Pylon’s selection into the Pakenham Pork Pies squad is divine intervention. This single person’s beliefs were not shared by anyone else, but the single granny living in the same apartment as Petey Pylon claims to have seen his selection in a dream. 

There have also been reports of Petey Pylon being ordered to get his bag checked by Coach before entering the training sessions after he was found passing along “freshly made wholesome pies” to his teammates. Coach (add coach’s anime here) is also said to have been making frequent trips to his cabin ever since the bag-checking rule was imposed on Pylon.

We're p[retty sure it's straight up bribery

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